This year I made a promise that I would date more. You know, get out there, go to dinner or movies with someone who would be a potential candidate. I realized that I am so comfortable being at home binge watching my series, a bit too comfortable. There is nothing wrong with having alone time but I'm not going to meet Mr. Right at home doing nothing. I needed to force myself to get out there so I made a deal with some friends that I will date this year.
How many dates have I been on so far?0! But c'mon, it's only the third month, a girl still has time. In the interim, I have been preparing myself. I have been reading articles, blogs and engaging in conversation with friends and family about it. The thought of dating is a bit terrifying because you never really know what you're getting yourself into and then there's the fear of falling for someone and your feelings not being reciprocated. Regardless, I believe it's worth the risk and I have a few tips for those who are out here trying to find their other half:
1. Forget About Your Type
We hear this excuse almost as much as we use it. He or she is nice but they are not my type. When we say this,we mostly refer to their looks, the outward appearance. Some of us from the instant we see the person, issa no. They're not tall enough, they don't have swag, you don't like their physique and the list goes on.
It’s funny how so many of us put up with someone aesthetically pleasing but groan at the thought of giving the person who is respectful, caring and loving but “not our type” a second date. Attraction is important but looks will eventually fade, "your type" should be more about their morals and character than their physical appearance or bank account.
If you have a type and constantly find yourself in bad relationships, try something different. Step outside the box, give someone you normally wouldn't a chance. You never know, you just may like it.
Don't knock it until you try it.
2. Know The Difference Between Being Picky And Having Standards
When you're single, people LOVE to tell you that you're too picky and if you don't ease up you'll never find a man. I'm sorry to break it to you sweetheart but I'm not going to lower my standards for temporary people and relationships.
There is a huge difference between having standards and being too picky. When you're picky, it's more about your preferences than anything else. You'll complain about all of the basic stuff, he doesn't open doors for me, he doesn't celebrate Valentines's day, he doesn't send me flowers every Wednesday and blah blah blah.
If you are too picky, you can run the risk of never finding anyone because your dream guy only exists in your dreams. You may actually be isolating someone great because they don't check everything on your list. The reality is that it is very rare to find someone who checks all of the boxes on your list. I would recommend making a list of your dealbreakers, the qualities you are not willing to compromise on and go from there.
Strive to focus on the quality of the person and what they bring to the table rather than the things they can do for you and the material possessions they may have.
3. Be Honest
Be honest with yourself and the person you are dating about what you want. Be honest if you merely just want to date casually, want a serious relationship or you are searching for your husband or wife. Nothing is wrong with being at any of those stages and do not allow anyone to make you feel that way. Before you start dating, have an honest conversation with yourself about what you want out of dating and enter the dating arena with that in mind.
Next step, be honest with the potential candidate about what you want. Do not wait until you are dating for 6 months to ask their views on marriage or kids etc. I’m not saying on the first date let them know you have chosen your wedding dress. However, in the beginning stages have in-depth conversations to establish where they are mentally, spiritually and emotionally. Ask where they want to be in the future and if you are compatible in those aspects,keep it going. If not,
Dating is not for the weak and the experience will be whatever you make it. It's best to have no expectations and go into it willing to stand your ground and not compromise on your worth.
Do you have any other dating tips? Hit us up in the comments!
Char is the Editor of doseofinspiration246.com. A firm believer in Christ and has a deep love for her family. Char believes that we should always seek to uplift and encourage each other and she desires to continuously promote positivity.