I look around and see so many people settling. Settling for okay lives, okay jobs, okay relationships, okay everything. I hate to admit it but every now and then, I'm one of these people.
We settle for mediocrity for many different reasons. We start to believe that our dreams will never come to pass, we doubt our abilities, we're unwilling to make the necessary sacrifices, we fear the unknown and then we just generally think we can't do any better so we settle.
The biggest issue with settling is that we can become comfortable and that is never okay. When we become comfortable, we miss out on the possibilities and settle for a life that we really don't want or were not destined to live.
Are you happy?
Are you living the life you envisioned?
Are you living to your full potential?
Are you having amazing experiences?
Are you doing what is necessary to get to where you want to be?
Most of us can't answer yes to these questions and as someone who has been there, that's no way to live. Life is the furthest thing from a fairytale, sometimes we experience more lows than highs and this causes us to lose hope. Therefore, we settle.
Settling makes sense at the time because what you desire seems out of reach, it seems unrealistic so you give up. You stop trying and you choose to just play it safe.
There is more to risk playing it safe than going after a dream.
When your time to leave this earth comes, it's the "what ifs" and whether or not you "lived" that will eat you alive. Don't settle, do whatever it takes to live the life you desire.
If you give it your all and it doesn't happen, at least you tried. Failing is not the worse thing but giving up before you give it a real shot is.
Is being alone so horrible that we settle to be in relationships with people we don't love? Furthermore, like? Even worse, we settle to be in relationships with people who don't love us.
As the famous quote goes, there are too many mediocre things in life, love should not be one of them. Love is not perfect, it doesn't conquer all but that doesn't mean you should settle. Contrary to popular belief, it is better to be single than to be in a relationship that doesn't serve you.
We were created to love and we all have a desire to be loved (whether or not we want to admit it ) but the wrong kind of love can ruin you.
Are you and your partner compatible?
Do you genuinely love them? Do they genuinely love you?
Do they inspire you to be better? Do you admire who they are?
Do they treat you how you want to be treated?
Letting go of something you want to last forever isn't easy and it hurts like hell but what hurts more is settling when you know you deserve better.
Never stay in a relationship because of the kids, the time and money you invested, the financial security, the fear of humiliation or the fear of being alone. Stay because you genuinely can't and don't want to picture life without that person. Stay because they inspire you to be better, cherish you and are literally, your better half.
I don't need to list a plethora of questions for you to figure out whether you're settling because if you're honest, deep inside you know whether you are. If you won't leave for yourself, at least do it for your partner. Don't hold them back from someone who they may be more compatible with because of your selfishness.
Settling for crumbs doesn't keep you fed, it keeps you starving.- Danielle Laporte
There are billions of people living on this earth, don't deprive yourself of receiving the love you deserve because you lack faith in believing you will find "better." Love yourself enough to let go and wait for the love that serves you.
Your job pays the bills, it buys the groceries, it allows you to shop online and go out with your friends every now and then so you feel like, "I'm doing alright." Do you really want to be just alright?
There is nothing wrong with being content, material possessions do not equate to happiness but if you go to your job everyday, anticipating 4:30/5:00 p.m, it's evident that you're settling and hate your job. There are only 24 hours in a day, you sleep 4 to 8 hours and then work for 8 hours or more. Don't waste away your days on this earth hating the majority of the hours that you've given.
It's not always possible to find a job that you love and at the end of the day, we have to do what we gotta do (legally) to make that paper but if you hate your job, at least find something that you're passionate about or something that relaxes you to help ease the stress.
I always encourage people to be creative and go after what they're passionate about but ensure that your intentions are pure before you do this. If you are more interested in the result and money as opposed to the process and purpose behind it, more than likely you will end up disappointed. Success does not happen overnight and loving what you do does not mean you won't have to work hard. You will work hard as hell but you will enjoy every minute of it.
Settling is easy, it's going after the unknown that is hard and scary. It takes guts not to settle for okay and honestly, I love the thrill. What's the fun in living so cautiously that you don't live at all? Look around and analyze the people that you envy and wish you could be, do you think their story is all glitz and glamour?
It may appear that way from the outside looking in but it isn't, they just decided to keep working at it and to never give up. We love to blame others for the way our lives have turned out, our parents not being rich, employers not hiring and giving us an opportunity, living in the wrong country/ state...yes we're not always dealt the best hand but you have to find a way to make it work. The reality is that most of us do not want to put in the work, we just want everything handed to us so be honest and determine whether you're the reason that you're in your current situation.
We were not created to survive, we were created to thrive and life can be whatever you want it to be, you may just need to change your mindset. My advice is to make life an adventure and don't settle unless you really want to.
Don't worry about the money or anything, just find a way to do the things you love. It is possible for the life you imagine to become a reality.
Date that person.
Pursue that career.
Book that plane ticket.
Start that business.
Move from your hometown.
Quit that job.
Cut those people off.
Write that book.
Influence a generation.
10 years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life and you didn't settle for it.
Are you living a life that you are proud of?