You can’t assign another human being responsibility for your happiness. If you do, you will always be disappointed because we are all flawed and that’s too great a responsibility to bear.
Growing up, I believed that a romantic relationship would solve all my problems and fill many voids. I thought that being in a stable relationship or getting married was the answer. I accepted way less than I deserved all for the sake of “love.” It’s sad the things people will tell you to put up with to keep a man e.g. cheating, abuse, lying, lack of respect. Society makes it seem like you’re not successful or happy as a woman if you’re not in a relationship. I formed various ideals based on other’s perceptions.
The older and wiser I became, the more I realized that I was setting myself up for failure. You don’t need to be in a relationship and a relationship should never be about completion, it’s about complementing the other partner.I’ve noticed that many people, especially women lose their power and sense of being in a relationship. Some of us forget about our self-worth, our goals, our peace and ultimately, our happiness. A relationship requires compromise but if it is a healthy relationship, you should never have to choose between what you want as an individual and your relationship.
If it is a healthy relationship, you should never be relying on another person for your happiness. Happiness is an individual job, it starts and ends with YOU. Happiness is a state of mind, it is a choice. If you’re always relying on someone and something for happiness, you’ll never be satisfied because something can possibly go wrong and then if that person leaves, so would your happiness.
It is important to stop giving your power away so easily and recognize that you are so powerful within. You do not need a significant other to be happy, your partner should just make you happier. A significant other should always be an addition, you should come to the table whole and understand that your happiness is only your responsibility. Yes, your partner has a role in your happiness but not the main one.
This is your journey and before there is we, there is YOU. There is a difference between being in love and attaching your happiness to someone. When you’re attached, it’s very toxic and unhealthy. You must want your partner but never need them. It’s okay to be in a relationship and still maintain your own identity, I personally believe it is a MUST. You need to have your own life too and know when it’s time to put you first.
You won’t always be able to put your needs and wants first but when you do, it’s not being selfish, it’s making yourself a priority. You have an obligation to yourself to find your purpose and live your truth. No one will have your back like you will and it’s you who has to live with your decisions so ensure that you make the best ones.
No one wants to live a lonely life but anything that costs you your peace and happiness is way too expensive. It’s way above your pay grade. You know more than anyone what you need to live a fulfilled life and it is your duty for you to acquire those things while you are here on earth. It’s not up to anyone else it’s up to you.
Leave people behind, leave that city, leave that relationship, leave that job, leave anything that totally does not serve you. Material possessions and people do not define your worth and value. Happiness is not found in the next job, the next relationship or the next city. Happiness is here and now, you will never truly be happy until you learn to master being content no matter the circumstances.
It’s a tough task and sometimes you will break down but the goal is always to rise up and rise up knowing that your fate is not in the hands of another or someone else, it is in the hands of the Most High and it is also in your own hands. You’re writing the story of your life every day, make it good and make it your own. Define happiness on your own terms without having to include anyone else and live in such a way that your cup is already full without anyone having to pour into it.
Choose you, love you, always!