Most of us have experienced a breakup at least once in our lifetime. It is not always an easy process, especially if you are not the one who initiated to end the relationship. Even if you are, it's still not always easy because you may not want to let go but you know it's the best decision.
I've had my fair share of heartbreaks, I know how it feels to wake up with pain and sorrow that just won't go away. More importantly, I also know how it feels to overcome the heartache and you can come out on the other side too.
Here are a few suggestions to help you with handling a breakup:
The worst advice I ever received and acted upon was that the way to get over a relationship was to jump right into another. If you're thinking of doing this, ABORT MISSION!
You may not want to feel the hurt, pain and disappointment but you need to. We repeat what we do not repair so grant yourself permission to heal. Cry, throw things at the wall, scream, be angry, do whatever needs to be done that makes you feel better in the moment.
After, identify how you feel, whether it's disappointment, anger, sadness etc. Describe those feelings and write them down. Take one day at a time and everyday work towards feeling better emotionally and mentally.
Everyday will not be the same, some days you'll laugh and not even think about them and then some days, they can't seem to escape your thoughts. It's okay when this happens but you need to ensure that you don't take any steps back. Stay focused on your healing and don't begin a new relationship until you truly believe that you are in a mental state to.
It's not fair to bring another person into your mess because you don't want to be alone, work on yourself until you are capable of giving yourself fully to another.
Cut Off All Communication
This is key for your healing process. Block and delete from all social media accounts and instant messaging apps.
It may seem harsh especially if you've been together for a long time and you truly care about the person but if the relationship was toxic or you're finding it extremely hard to move on, communication needs to be cut off or cut to a minimum. It's going to be more difficult to move on if you leave gaps open for those "I miss you" texts and you don't want to spend all day stalking their social media and going crazy over who likes and comments on their pictures.
If you really want to move on, you need to remove that communication from your daily routine.
Focus On You
It's time to have a relationship with yourself again. What you thought was the end was really just the beginning of something amazing.
You no longer have to consider someone else's feelings, check in or schedule your free time in alignment with theirs. You're free to do whatever you want so find time to do more of what you love. I encourage you to use this time wisely, get to know yourself all over again and if you don't like what you find, re-invent yourself.
Become the best version of yourself mentally, physically, emotionally, professionally and spiritually. As much as we want to play the blame game, sometimes we are the problem in our relationships. If during your healing process you realize that there are attributes you need to work on, this is the time to do so.
Accept The Situation
As much as you may want to change the outcome, you can't so accept it for what it is. Stop torturing yourself by thinking about what you could have done different.
What's meant to be will be and you may not be able to realize it right now but sometimes the toughest moments in our lives bring the greatest lessons. Use this as a learning experience and just focus on being better. There are plenty of fish in the sea, one day you'll find your fish.
How do you cope after a breakup? Let me know in the comments!