When I was younger, I wanted to be an adult so bad and now I'm like, where can I cancel my subscription?
Don't get me wrong, I love the independence and freedom that comes with being an adult but the responsibilities and pressure, not so much.
I envisioned that my 20's would be extraordinary. I would be working my dream job, travelling the world, have an amazing boyfriend/ husband, have my first child by 28 and live in a house with a white picket fence.
Just to fill you in, none of the above has happened but good news, I have about 5 more years.
Seriously though, my 20s have been a roller coaster ride, nothing like I imagined.
I'm extremely thankful to be out here earning these coins that allow me to do the things I enjoy but I crave stability and I can't see myself in this job 2,3 years from now. I am yet to determine my career path.
I travel but not nearly as much as I want to.
I have entertained many wastemen in my 23 years on earth and made a ton of mistakes. I compromised on my worth too many times but you know what? I've grown and learned so much throughout the process. As much as I desire a romantic relationship and I want to grow and share my life with someone, a part of me is happy that I've spent my 20s single.
I do think girls in their twenties accept certain kinds of lesser treatment than they would at other times in their lives.- Lena Dunham
Years from now, I don't want to look back on my 20s and feel like I missed out and settled when it came to love. I don't want to wonder who else is out there, I'm glad that I'm taking time to discover who I am, what I like/ dislike and I'm dating, getting to know different type of personalities.
Another pro of being single in my 20s is that I have the freedom to do what I want and I can take risks without having to consider how it would impact my significant other. I could up and leave Barbados tomorrow given the opportunity, there's nothing hindering me.
Don't get it twisted though, I do get lonely at times and if the man God had for me has to come knocking on my door right now, I would find a way to make it work.
However, I don't see myself being married, having a child and the house with the white picket fence by 28, let alone 30. There is so much I am yet to accomplish and experience in this thing called life. I'm not willing to sacrifice that to take care of another human being. It may sound harsh and selfish but it's the truth. I am not mentally ready to be a mother, my dog stresses me out enough as it is. I could also do without the house, I'm blessed to not be in debt right now and I really don't need any.There is alot for me to learn and become before I'm someone's wife or mother.
My 20s are not going as planned but there are pros to not getting what I wanted and I'm sure you can find some too. If you can't and you feel like you're going through a quarter life crisis, it's going to be okay.
Your student loans are piling up, you are currently underpaid and overworked, you keep applying for jobs and you're yet to receive an offer that you can't refuse, all you meet are frogs as opposed to your prince charming and you're living a life that you never thought you would be, you feel stuck, lost and unfulfilled.
What messes us up the most is the idea in our head of how our lives should be and nothing will ruin your 20s more than thinking you should have it all by now. I don't know any 20 something who feels like they've made it but if you do, or if you're one:
Your 20s are your selfish years. They're the years when you discover who you are and what you want. They're the years that you kick those ain't shit men/ women to the curb. They're the years that you choose you and you work hard to get where you need to be.
Your 20s are the years that you make mistakes. Your life is literally a trial and error. You're old enough to make wise decisions but still young enough to make bad ones.
Your 20s are the years when uncertainty creeps in and that's perfectly fine. You have no idea what you want to do with your life, you're unsure of the next step and even if you know, you have no idea how to get there or if your dreams will come to pass. It's okay to be uncertain, we are all a bit uncertain but eventually, we find our way.
Your 20s are your progression years. You may or may not know what you want to do but you can use your 20s to learn, grow and improve. You won't be young forever and time waits for no one so use your 20s to acquire knowledge, travel, have fun, figure out your passion and live the life you love.
Yours 20s are your risk taking years. For those who are not married and have no kids, these are the years that you make count! There is nothing holding you back so don't play it safe when it comes to your life. Take risks and do whatever you can to make your dream a reality.
Your 20s are tough but they will be whatever you make them to be. Don't stress too much about the loans, the pressure to be great and the unknown. Take it one day at a time.
One day, you'll end up exactly where you need to be, doing what you're passionate about and with who you're meant to be with.
I have no clue how the next couple of years will unfold but I know I'm open to what's possible and I'm going to enjoy the remainder of my 20s. I don't want to be that 45 year old woman who's still going to the club or who is in an unhappy marriage and goes to bed every night wondering "what if" because I rushed my life and didn't take time to discover who I am and enjoy my youth. I'm like SZA, praying that my 20 somethings won't enddddd.
Give yourself a break and know that you're doing the best you can. Yes, being an adult is not that much fun and your salary does not allow you to be great but the older you get, the more responsibilities you will have so make the best out of your 20s.
If all else fails, success, love and adventures are still possible after 29 :). Keep your head up.